I have one more week before I go back. AHHH!! Everything here is so uniquely Terengganu. and

Everything here has been so far so good. I got size “s” for my robe. Yeay for me!!

But I still feel lost and defeated.

After reading one of my senior’s blog post, I have to agree that some guys are really just IGNORANT. End of story. Hmph!!!

I’m flying off in 24 hours. Pray for me. Pray that I don’t get H1N1!!!! AHHH!! Just the thought of it freaks me out!!!

And to those who don’t know, I’ll be coming back on the 18th. So book me in advance!! LOL!

The weather is so nice now. The rain just reminds me of a hilarious story. I just can’t believe it really rained everyday after the incident. WTH.

I’ll be transiting between KLIA and LCCT tomorrow for  freaking 8 hours! I’m gonna entertain myself during that period of time. Hope I’ll enjoy this “last trip” to Terengganu.

Don’t interpret wrongly. THIS IS NOT AN EMO POST. I won’t be writing anymore emo post for a long period of time. It’s dangerous. People actually reads. And one of them keep apologizing to me non-stop! And I’m not even referring to him on the post!! WTH!!! LOL!

Now back to the topic. I’m having mixed feelings about going back to Terengganu this time. It’s different from previous feelings. This time I go back I don’t know when I will be going back there again. NOT THAT I LIKE TERENGGANU SO MUCH. Which is absolutely impossible. I will not be meeting my friends as often anymore. Juniors, seniors and lecturers who helped me. My supervisors. I missed them “nagging” about my final year project. Although I hate lab works, but I’m missing the lab! But I do not miss the assignments, tests, reports, thesis, pressures and food. Oh ya, and I miss the beach.

After this I don’t know how long will I be able to meet them again. Probably when E gets married?? I am so waiting to receive her “bomb”. The most probable one to get married VERY SOON. Lalalalalala.

And the islands in Terengganu!! I’m so gonna miss the islands there. Miss going there for FREE!! Haha. Can’t believe my last visit to Redang was in March during the turtle volunteer program. I had fun.

Although I don’t miss the food there, but I miss the MONGOLIAN STEAMBOAT!!!!!!!!!!! You hear me, seniors? I need to go eat one more time. OH THE PORK!!!!!!! *hungry* And I’m seriously hungry now. Stomach grumbling.

Oh ya. And having brunch. Dinner at 8-9pm. Supper at 12-1am. Or dupper. Sleeping after 3am every night. Oh wow. I had such an unhealthy life back then.

I shall miss the times shared with my coursemates. With my unimates. With my seniors, who’re studying masters now. Although we only get close during my final year but it was a great time. Thanks for all the rides and company. With my lecturers including supervisors. With my housemates although conflicts do happens at times. With my churchmates. Thank you aunties and uncles for the care although I had no idea what happened during my final year. Thank God for Christian Fellowship too. Problems between people really cannot be avoided. But thank God for that. It helps me understand more.

I hope I don’t miss anyone. LOL! Thank you to you too. You know who you are.

Ever since I go to Terengganu, I tried my best to adapt to the West Malaysian lifestyle and thinking. Not forgetting the loghat too. LOL! But after I come back to KK since May, I realize that my West Malaysia Malay is stuck in me. LOL! I find it hard to speak back in Sabahan Malay. Sometimes I find myself speaking in West Malaysia Malay to Sabahans. I wonder if they understood me. -.-” I need to listen to more Sabahans speaking in their “bah bah” language already.

But coming back to KK wasn’t bad at all. A lot of great things happened. Although I bore myself too much. Which wasn’t great at all. LOL! Catching up with different people and friends was very nice indeed. It’s nice to know everyone is doing great and busy. Haha. While I just sit at home pretty doing nothing. I’m glad that I’m back to civilization. With all the proper hang out spots, malls and theaters and islands and sea. I’m definitely grateful that I’m born in KK. Great places, great people.

Now I shall prepare myself to go back Terengganu. But don’t worry. I will come back after my graduation.

Awww. How I miss Panic(!) at the Disco. Hopefully they’ll come up with their next album soon. Can’t wait!!!! This video was apparently added in February this year but by looking at their hairstyle, I think this video was recorded during their release of the first album. Those emo style. Haha! Which was a few years ago. It’s funny that Pete (from FOB) and Mark (from Blink 182) was in the video too. LOL!

Now whoever said that Brendon could not sing live, watch the video. I absolutely LOVE this video!!! And I still can’t believe Brendon and Ryan are actually younger than me. =.=”

I’m still looking for their albums!!! I guess I have to get them online dy. Why are their albums so hard to find in Malaysia??!!

Update: According to Wikipedia, PATD is releasing their third album in late September!!! And they’re releasing their new single in August!!!!! I can’t wait!!! I wonder if they change their music again. >.<

I have been missing the sea a lot lately. I love the sounds of the waves crashing to the shore and the breeze. Oh how I wish can walk to the beach everyday. Like how the beach is so near to my hostel in first year. And blue tears! I think only Terengganu beaches has it? Cause I can’t find any at the Tanjung Aru beach here! The sand over here is different from the ones in Terengganu. It’s muddy!

Now I’m craving for islands. Just to have fun. It’s been a while that I’ve been to islands for fun. All these while I go islands for practical and field trips. So right now I miss the feeling of having a proper vacation on islands. Without having to worry about anything. No stress, no studies, no assignments, no tests, no exams, no problems etc. And no sleeping in the tent under the heavy rain. =.= And having to realize that your tent is leaking!!! That was the worst that could happen.

I miss those days when I would just sit down by the beach doing nothing. Or looking up at the stars at night. Talking with friends with just about anything. Finding for blue tears. Those were the days. Come to think of it. My first year of uni was the best in my entire three years.

So I’ve decided. I must go to the islands when I come back. I think I wanna visit all my fellow ex-colleagues and boss in Manukan. It’s been awhile since I last saw them. (Random: I miss their chicken wings there! AHHH!!) If possible, island hopping perhaps?

那就是盧廣仲 (Lu Guang Zhong). 哈哈. I am super late I know. Because he’s such a freak!! I REFUSED TO LISTEN TO HIS MUSIC WHEN I SAW HIS FACE AND STYLE! Damn weird and awkward! But who could have thought he knows how to sing and talented and…. still weird. And to listen to his music everyday, I do this:

Cause it takes forever to download his album. Ish. Connection slow perhaps. NOW, YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I MEANT BY WEIRD? DON’T YOU THINK HE LOOKS AWKWARD?? AND HE WEARS SHORT PANTS ALL THE TIME. So weird. So everytime I stream his videos I don’t watch. I only listen. Cause I’m still not keen on seeing his face just yet. Argh. Strange.

No more emo please. Yuck! Emo just makes me think of “Metro station“. Argh. The hair! LOL! WTH.

Life is just like that isn’t it? Ups and downs. Why not just enjoy your life to the best? Right. I shall just keep my mind busy with happy thoughts. Happy thoughts here I come!! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!

P/S: I realized this might NOT be emo. Seems like everyone has the same feelings as me. Is this like a symptom before grauation??? I think it is. LOL! Anyway, I’m feel better that I’m not alone. Everyone’s thinking and worried about their future too.

I am suppose to meet my (future) supervisor today. But she decided to reschedule the meeting. Ah well. She’s busy I guess. But I’ve already prepared my heart, mind and soul to meet her. ( Bad. I even stressed myself so much for the meeting. Got pissed but it’s not anyone’s fault.

I had the longest chat with God last night. Although I was the only talking, but it’s still called a communication. Well, at least he’s listening. Only He will understand how painful and how stressed I am to go through it alone. It’s like wearing a mask everytime I have to meet people. Sigh. God just would not take this feeling away from me. Not even a bit. Sigh. Just to put up a happy face is just so hard. To pretend you’re happy it’s just bad for your health. That stressed and scared feeling is there. What’s up with me? I am suddenly so scared of what is front of me. I am scared of the future. Damn scared. I really have no idea how God is planning it. It is supposed to be good for me right? Probably, I have to understand it when the time comes. Yes, the answer is time.

每當我背對星空
抱著地球
發現自己其實脆弱 不敢說
當我背對星空
不斷摸索
愛情漸漸萎縮 我猜不透
無邊的宇宙 哪裡有我想要的生活

I think the lyrics really reminds me of my situation right now. I am just weak. I am sorry. Having to face it alone, is just too bad. I need someone. To talk to. Probably cry my heart out. I’m looking forward for that day to come. And it’s not long. See you in a week’s time. Let’s go somewhere to have fun! Although Terengganu is just so bad that you can’t find a proper spot to hang out. -.-”"” Sad. I miss you.

All because of you Feli. I need blessings!! I so geram. I don’t wanna be alone for the rest of my life!! Ahhh!! Feli if you’re reading this, you’re responsible for this!!! hahahahaha!!!